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21 January 2006 @ 08:17 pm
Boll leaves Hollywood for good!! Alive!!  



World-famous visionary Uwe Boll gives up movie-making and returns to his first passion in life: exotic animal veterinarian. It was his dream since childhood but was unable to pass the final residency tests and was expelled on unrelated charges. "It was a crushing defeat," says Boll in a 1998 interview, "but I was quick to find hope and direction in life as a director. Get it? Hahahaha! Director! Hahahaha!"

Boll was believed to be in Siberia, finishing the last of the on-location shooting for the upcoming Postal film, but dissappeared four days ago and was believed dead. Losing people from a Boll production is a first. The actors are chained to their trailers between shots and the filming crew would wear thoses cool neck-exploding-thingies from that Total Recall movie, the Director (Boll) was never restrained to the shoot in any way. A mistake that has now jeopardized the Postal film target release date of February 14th.

Boll made his most recent appearance at the Berlin International airport, making a formal statement about his business and goals... But it was all in German for some reason. Our German-speaking German BlendSpotting correspondant, Holger Tesselheifer, was unavailable so we have no idea what he actually said. Boll was said to be enrolling in the Winter classes at the Munich University of Animal Sciences and use his good looks and international fame to take another shot at becoming the man whose hands will soon be wrist-deep in the beautiful and beloved endangered species of the world.

We here at BlendSpotting wish him really good luck.
 
 
 
High priest of the church of you know who: The Truth6alpha6omega6 on January 24th, 2006 04:31 pm (UTC)
seriously does anybody like Uwe Boll, come on helooks like a goon and most likly smells like on as well, the actual reason why im commenting is becuase the in your interests you have stuid rich fan girls which acording to the pimptionary s pretty fucking fly.